Wallace is truly the best creation I have ever made. He is so magical in my eyes, that I assume that everyone sees the light in the same way as I do. After the birth of Wally, I had unrealistic expectations that suddenly people that I am not currently close with, would come around and we would have a great relationship. To all the mothers out there: this is crazy. I have realized that after the birth of a child, some people will become more present, some people will fade away and some relationships will remain weak. All of these situations are okay and none of them are a reflection of how cute your child is.
You will have a ton of people say "Oh my gosh! I have to meet your baby!" Most of them will mean it, some of them will show up and all of them will say this phrase it in the exact same tone. It is a strange phenomenon that I cannot explain. What I can explain is this...people are busy and your baby is not the priority of everyone you know. I am working really hard to remember this and realize that it's not personal.
I remember a few women from my past who got pregnant to save a dwindling relationship. I have always thought this concept was delusional because weight gain, mood swings, additional stress and responsibility is not making anyone more desirable. Some of those relationships worked but mostly, things got really messy and the women ended up hurt because their baby didn't save the day. It's not fair to put this pressure on another person, especially your child. Everyone travels at their own pace and chasing only makes people run away.
This week, I realized that I have been setting some of the relationships in my life up for the same type of failure. I have been hurt by the people I love and acted hurtful after feeling let down. I have been upset when my high expectations were not met and I have been taking it personal. It's a negative cycle and I am stopping it now.
I am making a vow to change my perspective and focus on the positive. I have been blessed with the most reliable, loving and supportive group of people and I am making the choice to cultivate these relationships with love and energy instead of focusing on lack. When it comes to love, we are abundant.
My husband has a lyric in a song that says "some people fade away and some people become family," our close friends are now our family. I am so grateful for the people that have shown up for a visit, checked in with a call or just texted to us know they are in the periphery and love us. We really do have it all.