I am sorry...

For anything, I have said to anyone post election.  I am disappointed that we are not celebrating the first female president but more than that, I am worried about our planet, civil rights and peace.  Unfortunately when I get emotional, my ability to communicate in a loving way goes completely out the door and I act like a child.  And given the extremely abusive election season, I was packed full of ammunition and ready for the attack.  So, if I have talked to you in the past week and have offended you, please forgive me, I love you.  

This election was historic for so many reasons but the record low voting turnout demonstrates the lack of enthusiasm for both candidates.  It's sort of like picking a partner and instead of finding someone who has every positive quality that you're after, it's more likely that you find someone that has negative qualities that you can endure.  For example, my husband NEVER replaces the toilet paper roll and often I go into his bathroom to find several empty rolls scattered on the floor (insert eye roll emoji here).  This is annoying but I can deal with it because of Bryan's ability to make perfect pancakes and his sweet dance moves.  Something that I couldn't deal with?  Dishonesty.  There is no way I could move past a trust issue, it's too important to me. So, to bring myself some peace of mind, I believe that it's not necessarily that everyone loves everything about who won (because how is that even possible), but it's more likely that the people just couldn't deal with the negative aspects of who lost.  Trust is obviously huge for the majority of the country and time will tell if the president elect will prove to be trustworthy.  

On another note:  

Life is difficult for a lot of people and while I live in LA and have seen steady economic growth for the past several years (evident by all of the ridiculously huge buildings going up around the city), half of the residents in this country have an entirely different experience.  In the small town where I grew up, there are countless buildings that are vacant.  Unemployment is high and people are frustrated.  It's also less diverse with a smaller LGBT community and less international residents.  So in this area, people are less concerned with civil rights and are more concerned with the economy because that is what is most crucial to their family.  It's hard to care about the rights of gay people when you don't know any.  Comparatively, job creation is less of a concern, when you live in a thriving city where jobs are abundant.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  I have this idea that everyone should have to take an international trip before the age of 30 and I think now would be the perfect time to implement this law.  At this point I feel like anything could happen, maybe I will start that petition next.  We have to understand that we are all connected and nothing happens in a vacuum.  America has always been inclusive and even if immigration slows down, we are a diverse nation so traveling would help to embrace this strength and learn a little about each other.  I also firmly believe that everyone should have to work in a restaurant in their life because people are so shitty to restaurant workers.  I once got called a bitch on yelp because I refused to take someone's photo an hour after we closed.  Can we please all agree that people who work in restaurants are not required to be your personal photographer?  It's nice to do, sure, but it's not required, especially after closing.  Luckily for me, this person gave an inaccurate description in their review, so I didn't get in trouble but I feel bad for Maria who might have.  

Some things I am working on...

  • Be kinder with my words and taking pause before reacting.  
  • Staying off of the computer and being more present
  • Channeling my strong feelings into something positive like baking a cake or running (These seem to have contradicting results but I am really struggling right now so please forgive me)
  • Trying to mediate on peace instead of protesting hate

I love you all.